Father’s Day
Father’s Day. My favorite day of the year. Better than Hanukkah and Christmas combined.
The one day of the year that is my day, when I will be woken in the morning with kisses and hugs and lots of “I love you”, with several greeting cards that say “World’s Best Dad” and that I know he didn’t pick out but I love just the same.
It’s the day they get to celebrate me not as James but as Dad, my favorite title. And it’s the day I get to remember my own Dad and all the great things he did for me.
My Dad, Stanley, passed away a few years ago. He would have loved Aaron, like he loved all his grandchildren. He had no favorites, he just loved them all. He really was a doting grandfather. As a father though, he had been overpowering and loud when imparting parental guidelines. Let’s call it Old School Parenting.
In some ways I’m like my Dad, and behave like him without realizing it. While it’s true I’ve incorporated some of his good parenting I can see how, when faced with a trigger situation, I somehow channel his Old School Parenting. You know what? Let’s call a spade a spade. Most the Old School Parenting is Bad Parenting. I say most, because several Old School Parenting rules are actually really good parenting!
The one thing that has never, and will never, happen with any of my children is physical discipline of any kind. I don’t believe in spanking or employing what I would call torturing devices - because using a belt “builds character” how?
I’m sure I’ll hear a counter argument to this. Ultimately each parent ends up doing what they think it’s best, and for better or for worse, it’s most likely based on their own experience as children. I propose that we examine why it is that we choose to do one thing over another instead of just following what our own parents/authority figures in our early life have shown us. I’m sure there are some things all of us parents can move past and improve on.
What I’ve learned is that no parent can be perfect. You give too much, you’re a bad parent. You give too little, you’re a bad parent - and if you don’t give anything at all... then why be a parent at all?
On Father’s Day, among all the cards and kisses, I’m taking time to quietly thank my Dad for his example, good and bad, because it has shown me how to become a better Dad.