The iPhone
As every parenting guide and book will tell you, parenting is not easy.
First, you can’t categorize kids because every child is different. There’s no such thing as “Kids - Operation Manual”, and no matter how much your kid is a Taurus or a Leo he or she is going to break that mold too,
Parenting still has to change from child to child and as they age because you can't treat your 6-year-old child the same way now that he is 8. And if you try, they’ll make a point of reminding you of the fact.
Parents aren’t born, they are made. I’ve made it a habit to observe other parents and how they interact with their own children. It helps me and it’s a great learning (and free, for the most part) experience. Some of these learning moments are so powerful they are galvanizing.
I remember I was with Aaron at a restaurant, he was about 3-years-old at the time and I was still the center of his Universe (Ah! A great age! I miss those days.)
We were playing games before we got our food. We counted sugar packs then I’d try some simple math by taking two packs and adding another pack and asking him how many packs we had in total… You get the gist of it, I was trying to make everything we did fun while helping him learn new stuff.
I noticed there was another father and a son sitting next to us. His child was about the same age as Aaron.
To be honest I had been so focused on playing with Aaron I’d barely glanced in their direction. But when their food was served they caught my full attention.
I saw how the father got up and walked closer to his son and proceeded to help the boy with cutting his food into small-sized bites.That’s very sensible, I thought to myself, since I had done the same for Aaron when they served our food. He cut slowly and deliberately, making sure all the bites were roughly the same size and then, with precision, positioned the plate in front of his child, the fork ready to be grabbed from the plate.
Admirable!, I thought. How meticulous! My waffle cutting is definitely more in line with Picasso. I was watching with mounting curiosity as the man sat himself down across from son. He then picked up his iPhone and… that’s all he did from that point on. He just played with his phone and paid no attention to the little boy. There was no interaction between Father and Son.
WTF?!
I was shocked and angered and not able to conceal it very well. I made weird noises, dropped a fork on the floor, all in all trying to get this man’s attention so I could give him an admonishment or, at the very least, a disapproving look. But still the man remained glued to his phone’s screen - although I suspect he was just avoiding me.
I took a last glance at that sad image of the kid eating his meal quietly while his Dad read emails or whatever, and I promised myself I would never go out with Aaron and use my phone. I was adamant that, if Aaron and I go out, it’s so that I can spend the time with him, be there for him, be present. And I’ve kept this promise since.
Of course, Aaron doesn’t believe it applies to him since he didn’t actually promise anything. So, ironically, when we go out now I’m the one who eats his meal quietly while Aaron is on his iPhone playing games and chatting with friends.
The iPhone/Android/Whatever: damned if you do, damned if you don’t.